“Jest look at her. Prancing through this stinkin’ dungeon like it’s some fairy tale palace, all singin’ and dancing’ fit to burst. It’s no surprising the monsters hear us comin’ a mile away. What I want to know is how come she never gets hit. I mean, look at what she’s wearin’! A ball gown! D’you see, Sir Gallant? D’you …

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Dungeons & Disney du Jour: Princess Pauline